Thursday, October 31, 2013

J2W Day ELEVEN

Little  Progress
((  221  ))
And My Three Personalities
 
Well the weight is down a little bit, but still not as low as last Friday [220] and it has been a struggle all the way.  I got some disturbing news yesterday JUST before I headed to GVCS for rehearsal, and once again it was made clear to me that among other things, I am a STRESS eater.
 
First of all we have some of  THE BEST "KIDS" IN THE WORLD at GVCS !  We had to meet in the Principal's Conference Room as the blood suckers [ American Red Cross ] were using the auditorium.  So we were in much tighter quarters, which led to a TON of laughter.  Not sure how productive this rehearsal was, but they appeared to have a great time at it any way.  POINT: Even though I had received the afore-mentioned disturbing new JUST before rehearsal, my actors & actresses had me in stitches in no time.  [[ They knew not of any bad news ]].  I am blessed once again to have such a GREAT GROUP of thespians !
 
However, when rehearsal was over and I was home, reality hit & " Craig " made an appearance.
[[  For those who don't know,,,, I have always "jokingly"[?] said that I have at least three distinct personalities:  [1] GREGORY ~ The very good part of me, the one in church on Sunday, that reads his Bible every day & reads through the Bible once every year, who sends out cards, listens to folks with problems, visits people in hospital, etc.   [2] GREG ~ The personality seen most of the time.  He seems to be the most prominent of the three, kind of a "go-between" between Gregory and ... [3] CRAIG ~ Yowser, get out of the way !  This one will never EVER be voted "Mr. Congeniality"  I assure you.  He relishes in telling you " where the bear goes through the buckwheat" in no uncertain terms.  Acquaintances have never seen Craig, could hardly imagine such a personality.  My "older" Drama students HAVE seen Craig,,,, in fact since Craig has not made an appearance at GVCS in a couple of years, my current seniors want him to reveal himself to the sophomores & juniors. [ As long as he's not aimed at the seniors themselves ! ] Tisk.  Craig could never be "brought out", he simply appears,,, usually to the chagrin of those around him.   Sooooooo, Craig made a BRIEF [thank God ] appearance last evening upon my arrival home.  VERY BRIEF, but he appeared none-the-less. And then he / I ate too much.  Stress. STRESS. STRESS.  An insipid excuse most assuredly, but the truth isn't always lovely, is it ?
 
YESTERDAY'S STATS:
Caloric Intake                         1,700
Exercise calories                        223
 
I am beginning to feel like  GROUNDHOG'S DAY the movie.......
 
TODAY'S GOALS:
Caloric Intake                        1,500
Exercise calories                        ?
 
 
It is a rainy /  misty / gray Halloween day here in western N.Y.  Should be interesting to see how this  J2W  day goes.  Lord,,,,, HAVE MERCY !!!!!!!
 
 
KEEP  A  SONG
IN
YOUR   HEART !

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

J2W Day TEN

Ok-AAAAAAAAAAA-y ,,,,,,, This One I Understand
(( 223  ))
 
So at least today's weight I understand.  I ate too much and exercised too little and ate some in the evening  AFTER  supper.  THIS I understand.  Hoggish behavior = Hoggish results.  Period.
 
YESTERDAY'S STATS:
Caloric Intake                    1,885  [ wAAAy over the allotted 1,500 ]
Calories spent exercising      180  [  Poor.  VERY poor.  Lazy as_  ]
 
Oh yeah, the above is  exactly  the way to a healthy life.  I outta be slapped silly, or at the very least have my lips stapled  SHUT .  Not happy with me, not happy with me AT all.  And the thing is,  I knew,  I  KNEW  this might very well happen.  As I was driving up Noble Street after  rehearsal at GVCS yesterday, I was thinking about  E-A-T-I-N-G .  I had remembered something in the freezer that I'd previously forgotten,,, and it was basically ALL I could think about.  No, it wasn't ice cream, nor was it "sweets" of any kind.  It was frozen meatballs.  Actually frozen turkey balls,,, well not turkey "balls" but turkey meatballs.  Alone and IN  MODERATION they are not "bad" but WELLLL I added some Laughing Cow wedgeS, some olives, and  ATE WAY TOO MUCH.  [[ I know some of you are barfing by now ,,,, sorry bout that... to each his own.]]    Alas, I felt it my holy obligation to finish off those meatballs..... and I did.... with great fanfare.  So sugar was not the trigger,,,, I simply ate wAAAy to much.  A--N--D,,,, then I had some cereal [ dry ] in the evening.  Pretty much non-sugar [ Cheerio's ], but in the EVENING =  " Danger Will Robinson, danger ! "
 
And now it is Wednesday and I have not seen Friday's weight ,,, since Friday.  Vastly disappointed in me.  Vastly.
 
TODAY'S GOALS:
Caloric Intake                      1,500
Calories spent exercising        300
 
 
I need to get a handle on this.  NOW.  I feel excessive guilt, then I feel EVEN MORE guilt because there are people struggling with REAL problems, like that dreaded "c" word, and children fighting for just one more breath, and people all over the globe starving and I can't shovel the food in fast enough.  I AM DISGUSTING.
 
I am a firm believer in keeping a song in my heart, and I DO  still have one there today, it's just in a minor  key instead of a major key.   And so it goes........
 
KEEP A SONG
IN
YOUR HEART !

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

J2W Day Nine

THIS ONE MAKES NO SENSE
((  223  ))
 
By all rights, the weight should have gone down from yesterday.  When you see the exercise done and the caloric intake, it's a mystery why the weight STAYED THE SAME as yesterday.  But then, as all us "fluffies" know ,,, " T'ain't  as easy taking it off as it is puttin' it on ! "
 
 
YESTERDAY'S STATS:
CALORIC INTAKE:          1,350 calories
EXERCISE "CALORIES"     350 [ Did 2.5 miles on Tm, inclines of 1-2.5 ]
 
So, am I happy about this today?  No.   Am I ready to throw in the towel?  No.  My perseverance level is still high [ thank God ] and I am NOT going to give up.  Period.
 
Once again I have a great deal to share on here, but am also rushed for time, so will stick to what my goals are for this day ,,,, then if I have time later, might return here.
 
TODAY'S GOALS :
CALORIC INTAKE of      1,500 [ or less ]
EXERCISE of  Tm & ?
 
I will take the time to add one note:  My heart goes out to the ladies out there who are also "fluffy".  For some  ODD  reason women really have a tougher time losing weight than men doIt is NOT fair by any means but it does seem to be generally true.  Women are sooooooo much tougher than men overall as far as I am concerned.  I also feel like we might want to turn the running of things [ O you know, like the world 1 ] over to women asap .... they cannot do any worse than we men have done, and very well might be able to do a MUCH better job.  Just sayin' .   Remember:  It's MY opinion and it's VERY true !
 
 
KEEP A SONG
IN
YOUR HEART !

Monday, October 28, 2013

J2W Days Six, Seven & Eight

Saturday, October 26th  ~  222
Sunday, October 27th    ~   222
Monday, October 28th    ~  223
 
 
Well the weight went up over the weekend, which is not great but it didn't go as high as on weekend's in the past  and I did not go 'sugar crazy'.  Perhaps I could have kept the weight stable had I hit the treadmill, but alas I did not.  In fact ,,, haven't properly exercised since last Thursday.  ;-(      I just received some interesting information from a dear friend  [  Thanks Elaine Hardman  ]  that I am going to look in to. ((   Elaine is such a hoot ~ her mind is incredible and she knows a LOT of things, esp. [ but not solely ] having to do with the environment, staying healthy, the political scene, etc.  We met Elaine when we provided the music for her Mother's funeral mass at Immaculate Conception in Wellsville years ago.  We really got to know her when she played flute in the pit band for JOSEPH and THE AMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT back in 2004.  She has her own pottery business and her & Rick [ her husband ] travel the globe together at various times.  Elaine is a lot of things,,,, but boring could never be on of them))
 
 
I am rushed for time at the moment.  Much to be done today and I meet with the wonderful cast of THE ODD COUPLE  after school today at GVCS.  Suffice it to say that it is my intention to hit the treadmill shortly.    I may try to check back here later on, if not today then perhaps this evening.  With a little effort we should be back to our 220 weight of last Friday by Wednesday & perhaps even by tomorrow.  
 
BTW:  We're counting the days until Saturday next [ 11/2 ] when  ! JAXSON ! is coming for an overnighter with Poppa G. & Uncle Mike.  Have I mentioned that I  ADORE  that child ?  He is nigh onto 19 months and simply gets more charming, handsome and intelligent with each passing day.  REALLY !   I am not just saying that because he is my "grandson"....  IT'S MY OPINION and IT'S EVER SO TRUE !!!  (( Just between us ,,, I can still look at that kid and tears fill my eyes with gratitude to God for Jaxson's entrance into our lives and into my heart. ))  Thank you Sarah Lewis Wyre & David Wyre for creating such a GREAT individual   ;-)
 
Okay,,,,,,, and now ,,,,,,,
 
TODAY'S GOALS:
CALORIC INTAKE  Not to exceed  1,500 calories
EXERCISE                 Treadmill   ~   2.5 miles
 
And now \it is time to burn some calories,,,,,, YEAH !   Can't wait !!  Thanking you for your time this time till next time ,,,,,,,
 
KEEP A SONG
IN
YOUR HEART !
 
 
 
 
 


Friday, October 25, 2013

J2W Day Five

S-l-o-w-l-y  Getting There
(( 220  ))
 
 
The treadmill is killing me.  Yesterday there were no chest issues, but my legs nearly fell off.  YES I am doing warm-ups,,, I've been down this road before you know.  I have also taken OTC leg cramp pills, to no avail.  I will not "give up", but dang this hurts.  OH, and my incline level is minimum at best.  Not all that long ago I could do incline 10  WITH  the forty pound weight vest.  Granted it took some effort, but I could do it.  Now?  I am a wimp.
 
Had several GOOD things happen yesterday though:  heard from a couple of Dear O's  [ A childhood sweetheart = TWILA,  a niece living in N.C.= IRIS,  from the daughter of a classmate of mine = Marcine's daughter DANRAE and from my lovely SARAH ELIZABETH, whom I consider my daughter..  Lovely ladies all.] Also met with the leads of  THE ODD COUPLE  at GVCS.  For those of you with a Belmont, NY connection the leads are;  Aidan DeTine = his mother is Noelle  Miess  DeTine.  Noelle graduated from BCS in 1983.  Aidan's portrays Oscar Maddison.  The other lead is Alan Salyer whose Mom also graduated from BCS [ I believe ] and her maiden name was  Petrechick... Gary and Nancy's daughter.  Alan portrays Felix Ungar.  These guys are both seniors this year and I have worked with them for eons. So far they are doing a bang-up job.  The other senior I have this year is Noah Weinman whose Dad is Eric Weinman if memory serves.  MJ & I provided the music at the wedding of Eric & Molly umpteen years ago.  Allegany County = we're all connected by  SOME  history.   Next week I need to clamp down a little bit on the cast.  Wouldn't you know that basically all the sports  ;-(   teams are in the playoff's right now.  Tonight GVCS boys soccer goes against Fillmore Central.  IF they win, Mr. Noah Weinman informed me the entire team [ of which he is one ] is getting Mohawk haircuts.  I informed him that if that is the case, I  personally  will make his hair EVEN all across his head prior to production of  THE ODD COUPLE  in late November.  No threat but rather a promise.
 
 
Yesterday's Stats:
 
Caloric Intake:         700 [ I know, I know, but it just happened that way.]
Tm Exercise:            319 [ 2.25 miles on Tm ]
 
 
Today's Goals
 
Caloric Intake            1500  [ or less ]
Exercise:                      2.5 miles on Tm
 
 
I am very, Very, VERY concerned as the weekend begins [ for us anyway ] tonight.  We hve gotten in the habit of  ordering take-out food on the weekend, supplemented by: ice cream, Pop Tarts, Pringles, chip dip, etc. Etc. ETC.   None of that now.  BUT it should mean that I won't lose all the progress I've made.....usually on Monday morning we are back to square one, what with the weekend binging.
 
Tomorrow we have visitation at the Scio Methodist Church for Stella Bower [ a former Camelot Choraleer ] at 10:00am sharp, followed by an appt. at the groomers [ Hair & The Hound ] in Hornell at 10:30am.  Rather than drive back to Belmont then to Hornell, then back to Belmont, we  STAY in Hornell, do shopping and EAT A DELICIOUS MEAL.  Oh, this is going to be a challenge.  I can just HEAR that " devil" on my shoulder telling me " You've been good all week Greg, you really SHOULD reward yourself for such excellent determination ! "  And the angel on my other shoulder saying " You break down now... CA-PUT  it all goes in the trash!  You KNOW how you are Gregory, do NOT waiver !  Fight the good fight......."  Oh SHUT UP Scarlett .... tomorrow's another day !
 
Enough for now.  I may check in later but don't plan on it.  I  WILL  find time to post tomorrow if only to let you know if I waivered or not.  Say a prayer, send good vibes, whatEVER floats your boat or tickles your pickle......   And so it goes.......
 
 
KEEP A SONG
IN
YOUR HEART !

Thursday, October 24, 2013

J2W ~ Day 4

BETTER
But Not Perfect
((  221  ))
 
EXERCISE : So yesterday was much better than its predecessor but a long ways from perfect.  I  DID  get the 2 miles of treadmill done, albeit struggling all the way.  It still bothers me greatly that I went from many miles per day [ minimum of 5 ], sometimes wearing a weight vest of up to 40 lbs.  to  this mess that I am in now. Weird.  Had some physical challenges yesterday also whilst on the Tm.  Chest issues that caused me some mild concern, but I did not give up. I did NOT do the crunches that I HAD HOPED TO DO.  again,,, BAD ME.
 
FOOD INTAKE: I did however, eat very conservatively which combined with the treadmill, seemed to have made a difference.  Halle-freaking-luiah !
 
FOOD TEMPTATIONS:  We had rehearsal at GVCS last evening for the upcoming production of  THE ODD COUPLE.   These kids are  always  hungry [ I swear the parents don't feed them = JUST  kidding.  They are teens, they eat = a LOT !].  So I sent MJ on a "goodie run" and he brought back all kinds of things for the cast.  Since the only chocolate that I can eat is white chocolate, I asked him to make sure there was plenty of dark chocolate, which there was some of, but most was candy, crackers and more candy....that I could eat  had I chosen to.  O Lord !  By the Grace of God I stayed out of it [ most of the food was devoured in about 5 - 10 minutes anyway ].   That was the worst of the temptation for yesterday, thank You Jesus.
 
 
Stats & Facts from yesterday:
 
Caloric intake -----------------------  700 calories  [  I know this was a wee bit low ]
Calories spent exercising ----------  281  = Two Tm miles
 
 
Goals for today are to continue to resist temptation [ Lord, have mercy ] and to do a minimum of 2 miles on the Treadmill.  When I get through today ,,,, I will concentrate on the morrow.  The  BIG  challenge is going to be the weekend.  Trust me.  I am a weekend BINGER .  But that's for another time, right now I needs but concern myself with today.   And away we go .......
 
 
KEEP  A  SONG
IN
YOUR  HEART !

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

J2W ~ Day Three 10-23-2013

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL,
 ((224 pounds ))
 
 
Yesterday we did NOT meet the goals we had set.  Dang it !  It could have been much worse [ oh trust me on that one ,,, this guys KNOWS how to stuff his face] but the goals set were not reached, so that has to be calculated as a less than stellar day.  BOINK !
 
The worst thing about yesterday's Journey to Wellness is I did NOT exercise.  And that is not a good thing.  The day got away from me is the  excuse  I want to use, but come one,,,, couldn't I have found  some  time to exercise ?  I mean I found time to EAT !  Shame on me.
 
So here's the stats for yesterday:
Caloric intake                    1,600  [100 cals over goal ]
Exercise calories spent      ZERO [ Had a goal of 2 Tm Miles ]
 
 
Trying not to beat up on myself, while at the same time realizing I MUST stay focused.  Period.  I did this before some 13+ years ago & maintained until not to long ago.  So  I  KNOW  what to do ,,, it's doing it that's the issue.
 
In the past when I missed the exercise I goal I would make myself do the missed exercise PLUS the exercise for today.  I am hesitant about that at  this  point.  My body was in much better shape then, so for today's "goals" I will reiterate yesterdays goal....
 
 
Today's goals:
Caloric intake:            1,500
Exercise:                           2  Treadmill Miles & some crunches.
 
 
Okay, I will take leave for now, as within a very few minutes I will be "Sweatin' with the oldie" = ME !
 
 
KEEP A SONG
IN
YOUR HEART !

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

J2W ~ Day 2 10-22-2013

So after having thought about it for days... including all through last night, I have decided I am either in this 100% or I am not.  I already feel like an exhibitionist in a trench coat having shared so much, why not remove the trench coat ?  Here goes the details of the current w8:

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 18th =            230 pounds
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 19th           229 pounds
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 20th                227 pounds
MONDAY, OCOTBER 21st               225 pounds
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 22nd             224 pounds

I do not relish publicizing those numbers, but perhaps when I feel tempted to eat in an unhealthy manner I will remember that tonnage must be posted for all to see the following morning.  Lord, have mercy !  Oh and think nothing of the 6 lb. difference,,,, my weight fluctuates all over the place. So although it  LOOKS  like I've lost 6 lbs., trust me it's hiding just around the corner and could return in a heartbeat.

Yesterday went well overall.  I did get hungry in the afternoon, but stuck to mainly protein & got through the day fine. Did some exercise which I will note somewhere below along with caloric intake.  Had rehearsal at GVCS for their autumn production [ THE ODD COUPLE by Neil Simon ] in the evening, so that was covered.  Went to bed early and read on my Kindle.

YESTERDAY'S  STATS : 
Caloric intake : --------------    1,200
Exercise: 1.5 treadmill miles  = 212 calories

I fully realize that the exercise machines do not always calculate correctly, BUT had you seen the struggle this ol' guy was having with that treadmill.... 212 is just fine for now.  The exercise is what is baffling me right now.  Since 1999 I have been doing a tremendous amount of exercise MOST days.  Meaning if I missed a day in a week, I'd make up for it somehow later on.  It was my stress relief, it kept the weight at bay and honestly, I liked it !  After an injury and an illness, I lost the drive to keep that regimen going.  NOW I feel like I am starting all freaking over again.  Dang it !

When I was  HUGE  GREG  back in 1998 and early 1999 [ 275+ pounds ], I used to joke that my inner anorexic  could barely be heard screaming to get out from under all that blubber.   [[ NOTE:  I realize  now  that  is not a politically correct statement to use, but at the time I had a whole routine about that teeny - tiny inner person!  So try not to call me on the carpet about that phrase.]]  At any rate, once again that type situation has returned and I find myself : [1] ANGRY at me beyond description and [2] HUMILIATED that  I  allowed this to happen again.  All was fine [ basically ] for 13 - 14 years.  One of the main reasons I made the decision to "come clean" about this situation in such a public manner was my fear that if I didn't get this under control NOW ,,, I never would.  I'd revert back to the person I used to be when I was so very heavy... rarely left the house, NEVER went into a store in Belmont, tried not to go anywhere public in Allegany County in fact.  Would only go shopping a good two to three hours away.  Totally ashamed of the  BLOB  I had become.  Trust me when I tell you I was on my way back to then.   Those of you around here know where-of I speak.  I have dropped out of numerous organizations & commitments, stay home most of the time and aside from being Drama Advisor at GVCS ,,, try to avoid people at all costs.  Hard to face ugly facts sometimes, isn't it ?

Sorry about that, the previous paragraph became rather intense, didn't it ?   I need to express to you all again how SHOCKED and HUMBLED I am at your responses [ through facebook and in PM's and in private E-mails].   IT SURE DOES HELP KNOWING I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS BATTLE.  Seems like many of us have fought this one.  Sometimes, more than once.  That's okay, let the naturally skinny people laugh whilst they can ,,, WE know THEIR ultimate outcome, right ?

TODAY'S INTENTIONS:
Caloric intake -------------- 1,500 or less
Exercise --------------------- 2 miles on treadmill & some crunches

Thanks again for your kind words.  Stay tuned if you feel so inclined.  I promise, if nothing else, to be HONEST about this Journey to Wellness !

KEEP  A  SONG
IN
YOUR  HEART !



Monday, October 21, 2013

J2W Day 1 ~~~ Monday 10-21-2013

Good morning friends.  First of all I am humbled by the responses, comments, well-wishes and prayers that I have gotten since yesterday's post.  One thing is for certain, I am not alone in this battle.  After I wrote and then posted yesterday's "confession" I walked away from the computer and left it at that.  The deed was done.   I checked back later on and to say that I was surprised would be an understatement.  Between personal E-mails, responses on facebook and PM's on facebook ,,, well let's just say at least my heart felt lighter !  Thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU .

It is late morning here so naturally all is well as far as eating is concerned.  Monday morning is usually always a great time "eating healthy" wise, right ?  All gung-ho and man that battleships and all that.   In my case, that is usually followed by the temptations of Monday mid-afternoon, which is followed by [1] over-eating at supper and or [2] grazing all evening in front of the large screen TV.
Oh well,  TUESDAY  will be just as good a day to start as Monday would have been,,,, then there's always Wednesday [ hump day ], and if that doesn't work, heck we're close to the weekend anyway,
so let's just forget it until  MONDAY  again !  And if by the Grace of God, one makes it through a couple of days and the weight starts descending, then there's always the " I've got this licked now, so a little bit of cheating won't be all  that  bad."   Excuses, excuses and more excuses.  Geeeeesh.

I do wish to share with you something I have been saying for decades, as pertains to naturally skinny people:  Long ago I was told by God [ or medication perhaps, but I rather think it was God ] that ALL naturally skinny people on earth will end up being FAT, NAKED CHERUBS for ALL of ETERNITY  [ and that's a long time folks ] .  Period.   So if you are out there and naturally skinny, you'd best take note.  T'ain't always gonna be that way,,, thus sayeth God and thus sayeth us fluffy folks !

Obviously I am bound and determined not to let this rather serious situation be completely devoid of its share of humor.  One knows that there are soooo many situations FAR worse than this one.  My heart aches for all the sadness in this ol' world.  Be that as it may though, I will give 110% to winning this battle of the bulge.,,,,,, then again,,,, it's Monday,,,,,, MORNING !!! 

I will make every attempt to check in on this blog before I go to bed tonight.  It's rather important to be accountable ,,, and honest.  Next on the list is EXERCISE..... I can hardly  W8    ;-)


KEEP A SONG
IN
YOUR HEART

Sunday, October 20, 2013

W8 ~~~ Journey to Wellness

W8

 

Although not totally true, I feel as if I have battled with my weight F--O--R--E--V--E--R.  I know this not to be the case since I have pictures of myself in my youth [ pre-puberty ] where I was a normal sized kid.  Sometime after puberty hit [ a couple of years or more....] that all changed.  The first diet I remember being on was when I was around 15+, Doctor supervised.  Didn't work.  I took over control of that fiasco and lost about 40 pounds.   The weight stayed off  for quite a while, thank you Jesus.
 
When I went to college at Alfred State, not only did the weight stay off, it plummeted.  I went from a rather healthy 170 pounds down to slightly less than 130 pounds.  Upon request of the college and agreement of my parents, I left college.  Weight went up slightly, but not much.  Within two years I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease.  This disease hit all the males in my family:  I had a brother die of it [ or complications thereof ] in 1969 at the age of twenty-four.  In January of 1970 my eldest brother [ approx. age = 33 ]was diagnosed with it and in June of 1976, so was I. [ at age 22 ].  My weight at that point was below 100 pounds.  Through much hard work and many trips to the Doctors, as well as something called ATCH shots, we finally got the weight back up to 130.  Still too thin [ according to them ], but much better than under 100 pounds.  [[ This had taken months BTW ]]
 
Some time after that I was put on steroids, a drug called Prednisone.  The weight went up,,,and Up,,,and UP,,,,, but at least the Crohn's was not active for a period of time.   Then in 1980, it came out of remission and surgery was required.  I had about four feet of small and large intestine removed.  All was well.   For a while  My weight vacillated between 170 and 195.  The lower of those numbers being okay, the upper one = not so good. 
 
The years went by & life progressed.    The pounds seemed to gradually creep up on me.  First 200, then 220, then 250 and finally around 275+ pounds.  I hated me.  Oh and lest I forget, I also smoked cigarettes.  Lovely.  In November of 1998 I took a breathing test at Olean Medical Center.  My breathing was horrid.  If you know of this test, one is supposed to blow out balloons on a computer by breathing through a tube.  The more balloons you could blow out, the better your breathing was.  I could not blow out one balloon.  January 19th of 1999, I quit smoking.  It was not easy.  It was totally worth it though.   Things were better ,,,, for a while.
 
Shortly after ceasing to smoke I started to feel rather 'odd".  Odd turned to ill.  I thought it was my body reacting to no nicotine, and let it ride.  After I would eat, instead of smoking like I used to, I would lie down, as I felt very tired.  I was also consuming a lot more liquid, especially water, than I had ever consumed in my life.  After Easter dinner, I laid down and people had a difficult time waking me up.  A few days later a friend suggested we test my blood sugar and loaned us his glucometer .   It simply said " HI".   I thought it was a polite glucometer !   What it really meant was that my blood sugar was so high it wouldn't register.  Not good.  Doctor's appt., tests and ,,, Diabetes was the diagnosis.  I had already lost 25 pounds without my knowledge and more weight HAD to be taken off asap.  The Doctors wanted me in hospital.  I had other plans.  I would do this at home but with their guidance and visits twice a week to Olean Medical Center.
 
FAT.  Geeeesh I was FAT.  And I hated me.  O God did I hate me.  But I was motivated.  As when I was diagnosed with the Crohn's Disease in 1976, I was told that my condition was  very  serious and I HAD to rectify it ... period.  Unique person that I am [ hush ] I would be damned if I was going to let this go and make my enemies happy !   So we worked [ God Bless Michael ! ], and even though I was in sad shape [ could barely walk a quarter mile ], we began to exercise and to eat properly.  The weight dropped.  Days turned into weeks turned into months,,,, and the weight continued to drop.
I liked the non-gigantic Greg.   And the weight dropped.  Geeesh I liked this.  And the weight dropped some more.  I liked me but some didn't ,,, jealousy is such a sad state.  And more weight dropped.   Having gone from a waist size of about 46 down to a waist size of,,,, 28 ... I REALLY LIKED ME !!!   Whoops ,,, perhaps a wee bit too small at 127 pounds.   So we brought the weight back up to where it would run between 145 and 160.  I know that sounds like a big difference, but this is over a period of approximately three years.
 
November 2002 whilst working on a Show for the Camelot Choraleers,,, a heart attack hits.  O yeah.  Well variety is the spice of life !  Crohn's Disease, Diabetes and now a heart attack.  I was NOT happy.  I remember telling Dr. Coch " So I quite smoking, loose 120 pounds ( I weighed 155 at the time of the heart attack )  and NOW I get a heart attack ??? "  To which he wisely replied " Perhaps instead of being angry Mr. Shelly, you might consider that had you not quit smoking and had not lost all that weight ,,, I doubt you would be speaking to me right now. "   OUCH !   Well he was right, but let's not sugar coat it Doc    ;-)      After open heart surgery at Strong Memorial in Rochester, I returned to finish directing the Show,,,, and then doing P.T. at Jones Memorial.    Life moved on.
 
Since the initial weight loss in 1999, my weight has fluctuated over the years.  Only once did it go back over 200 and that was in 2006... coinciding with another heart surgery = the insertion of stents.
But then the weight thereafter went back down again.   I exercise nearly every day and have gone through at least three brand new treadmills.
 
Enter 2013.  This has not been an easy year for us.  I care not to go into details about that, but it has not been an easy year.  As far as the weight is concerned, it was rising during 2012, but this year it has  B--A--L--L--O--O--N--E--D .   Some of it due to injuries on my part, some due to illness, but those are only excuses.  The weight is currently  out-of-control  and is taking it's toll.  I have tried and Tried and TRIED to get it to at least a reasonable point, but to no avail. 
 
I have kept STRICT track of my weight since 1999 and yesterday I went back just a couple of years to attempt to figure out what is going on.  I see that my weight went  UP  as follows:  UP 12.83 pounds in 2011 ... UP 9.97 pounds in 2012 ,,, and so far in 2013 ,,, UP 23.50 pounds.  Add those numbers up =  UP 46.3  pounds in a little less than three years.   And the weight was not in the its "sweet spot" even in January of 2011.  [[ My "sweet spot" where I feel the best & health seems most stabilized is between 150 and 160 pounds. ]]   For my benefit, another way to look at this is that since Sarah & David got married on 10-2-10 ,,,, I am UP  72.5 pounds.   This is not good.  Not good at all.
 
So WHY am I putting this on HERE,,, perhaps SHARING THIS STRUGGLE and making myself  accountable [ publically ] might help.   I am not happy.  I am NOT healthy.  This cannot continue.  Something IS going to "give" one way or another I assure you.  I am removing all Unhealthy foods from this place tonight [ actually there's not a lot here that's unhealthy at the moment anyway, than God.]  One thing I forgot to mention is that up until a few months ago I was averaging 5 miles per day on the treadmill or outside = walking / speed walking.  Now it is a struggle to do ONE mile at ZERO incline !   I was wearing a forty pound weight vest at least twice if not three times a week or more when I did my 5 mile.  Now I can't wear it at all = too tiring.  I am OUT OF SHAPE and that makes me feel like my life is OUT OF WHACK  !!!
 
By the way, for those of you who think this is just "vanity"...kindly leave this blog AND my life while you're at it.  I am 59 & 1/2  years old.  I  KNOW  when my health is at stake and it helps not to hear any overt insipidness from those who simply can't avoid advertising their ignorance.
 
I will write again TOMORROW.  Perhaps revealing my weight but at least letting you know of what is happening on this journey back to wellness.   Your thought, comments, prayers, good wishes would be deeply appreciated.
 
Thanks for listening,
                                       " FAT MAN "
 

KEEP  A  SONG

IN

YOUR  HEART 

 


WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 23, 2017 [ Yesterday's  TDL  grade:  Incomplete ] Today's w8:   238 Mood: Yesterday was not a Red Lette...